Men Are Happier

It’s true…

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park… Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £3500 Tux rental-£75. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £3.99 for a three-pack.  You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.